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  • You want to come on vacation with me. I have all the fun.

    I’m sitting on Christina’s couch right now looking at an array of pill bottles. My face is completely numb. I just took a Vicodin, I’m contemplating a spiked lemonade, and I can’t eat anything for another 15 minutes. What happened here? Yesterday morning, I woke up with a toothache. It was a constant, steady pain,…

  • beginning of the end?

    Here is me, in front of this. I love waste treatments plants. They are so sickly beautiful. Welcome to LA, edition one of my 14-day vacation!

  • Marriage: Year One, or, The Swift Death of Romance in the City of Angels

    If you’ve been keeping up with this blog for any amount of time at all, you probably know that odd things often happen to me, or at least around me, usually in a bizarre crescendo of Awful that elevates what might otherwise simply have been a bad day into the realm of impossible hilarity. In…

  • What’s worse than a redeye flight from LA to Boston?

    I woke up on March 18th and spent a good 10 minutes scratching my own back. It felt awesome. In fact, it felt so awesome that I went ahead and scratched my arms, my legs, and my neck, and it was all so fantastic that for a few minutes I wondered if someone had slipped…

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