Categories
aberrant behavior Depression life story manifesto meds worst week ever

My lovely self, in the psych ward.

So there’s this thing I never talked about, before I stopped talking altogether. I didn’t talk because I couldn’t talk, because it was all too close and awful, and the other day I read this thing and now, in my head, I can’t stop talking. http://www.psmag.com/navigation/health-and-behavior/lovely-wife-psych-ward-95567/ I didn’t talk because I couldn’t, because, in June […]

Categories
charming neurosis Depression personal hell therapy

Bearing up

It goes without saying that things have been happening. Despite what one might wish, things are always happening. We are powerless to stop it. Some normal things happen, that much is for sure, and some wonderful things, but some things you wish you could pretend AREN’T happening also happen. It’s on again, this war in […]

Categories
Depression life story meds

Delusions.

Like most people with mood disorders, I’ve always loved reading books about other people with mood disorders. More than one of them have had a bipolar protagonist. And I’ve always thought, while reading: “Huh. That kind of reminds me of… me”. This is not to say that I’m inclined to wear a tutu to the […]

Categories
Depression

Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes the bear eats you.

Depression’s like that, kind of. A heavy mood can sometimes be vanquished with skills or medication, but sometimes, before you can really decide what’s happened, you find yourself nose-deep in shit. Consumed. I’ve become rather used to small victories – had a good run, if you will – so I attributed a meltdown during my […]

Categories
Depression meds tiniest violin

Better Living Through Chemistry

“It’s time to get off Abilify,” I thought to myself some time ago, and began the (supervised) process of titrating down.¬†Abilify is the miracle drug that keeps me together like glue. It’s also a $500/month prescription that’s only available in brand-name. I mean, I could lease a really nice car for that much money, or […]