Barking at shadows

It’s tough, because I know when things are right and I know when things are wrong. I can feel when things start *thinking* about heading wrong. I can taste it in the wind. I know it before it’s there, like how you can feel a thunderstorm. But I’m helpless.

I didn’t associate it with the Abilify withdrawal, not immediately, and I still don’t know if I do, but there’s an undercurrent of terror that runs through every breath. This faceless, nameless, panic that has no root and has no salve. I remember this, I remember from before, and I’m troubled that it hasn’t gone away. Even after all the changes.

But am getting by it, getting through it, carrying on. You know.

All is well until it isn’t, and, after that, it is again.

3 responses to “Barking at shadows”

  1. Your last sentence sums it up. As does every sentence before it in this post. I know the feeling of Trouble slowly coming to a boil in the marrow of my bones. It’s completely like feeling a thunderstorm. And like any storm, we just hunker down knowing it too shall pass. You got this.


  2. I have been carrying on but not very well myself. I have fallen down that slippery slope and then everything else starts to fall down also. I am trying to get it in my head that it is worth it. I am going to be changing my meds soon once I can get in to see the med doc. I need a change.


  3. Fell out of bed feeling down. This has brihgnteed my day!


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