hates everything sometimes. I can’t be the only one.

Driving home after a crazy day of work, you pick up your boyfriend on the way to the gym. The mere fact that you have to pick him up kind of sets you sideways – you like to be direct in your errands, and this stopoff has you crimped. Then you have to swing by FedEx, which always sucks, and your boyfriend’s bought salmon for dinner when what you really wanted was restaurant pizza. And it’s raining, right, and dark, and there’s all sorts of traffic on 1A so you take this back route through Eastie which brings you through Chelsea which gets you very lost. And of course your boyfriend’s GPS just SAVES THE FREAKING DAY, which irks you tremendously.

By the time you get to the gym, you’re in a “throwing-this-goddamn-mimosa-right-across-the-room” mood. So you decide to use the treadmill and really whip yourself calm. Except the treadmill aggravates your shinsplints and is a lot harder than the elliptical. Seriously. Ten agonizing minutes later, you retreat, red-faced and panting, to your usual machine, and sweat out the next half-hour in a fury of self-loathing and despair at your lack of athletic prowess. And the rain. And especially the GPS.

It occurs to me, however, that I used to live my whole LIFE with this kind of angst. Every minute of every day was spent restraining myself from completely freaking out. So, in that respect, one snowball of frustration isn’t so bad after all. And maybe I should just chill out and be grateful that it’s not how it used to be.

2 responses to “hates everything sometimes. I can’t be the only one.”

  1. I’ll be honest: it’s been hard to understand from the outside exactly what it was you were getting away from because you internalized so much of “how it used to be,” and I think this post really puts it in perspective for me.

    I know, what a crappy friend, it took two friggin years for me to figure it out, but when I’m on the verge of freaking out for days at a go it is so very, very different. Apparently it’s easier to empathize than sympathize, even when that empathy is misled. I hope I’ve managed to be supportive despite it all.


  2. In all sorts of seriousness, re that last paragraph: Dude. Awesome.

    And yes, you aren’t the only one. Everyone hates everything sometimes. What’s awesome is not hating everything all the time…which in lots of ways gives full frickin’ license to hate everything sometimes precisely because it’s not all the time. So, go! Hate it up!


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