So I just got to Arizona for phase two of my vacation, and today I decided to kick start it up right: with another trip to the dentist!! My guy in LA knew a guy in Chandler AZ, so 1pm found me lazily texting from yet another plastic-wrapped motorized chairlift, bib around my neck and temporary filling intact. I wasn’t worried – after all, I’d had the root canal last week. Today was just to mold me for my crown which, truth be told, I wasn’t sure I even needed. The hole in my tooth was SO SMALL, I thought they might just fill it up regular and send me on my way.

“So today you get your root canal!” My new guy exclaimed, as if it were a bonus prize.

“No,” I countered, “I already had the root canal. Today I’m supposed to get fitted for a crown.”

A look of concern passed over the dentist’s kind face. “Um, no. Actually, TODAY is your root canal. Last week he just cleaned out the abscess.”

“Oh.” I said. “Fuck.” I thought. And away we went. Again with the novocaine. Again with the little toothy pick thing. Again with the drilling. And the drilling. And the drilling. And when he was done, I was left with this.

Pretty. Awesome. It’s a little baby monster tooth!

Now I have a temporary crown and I’m taking more vicodin. What’s next, on this amazing vacation of mine? A mole removal? Outpatient surgery? Only time will tell.