Mangetti: A Recipe

I saw a lot of ballsy shit during my 3-day roadtrip through Arizona. I strolled through the red rocks of Sedona, I took pictures of Monument Valley at dawn, I even witnessed firsthand the majesty of the Grand Canyon, but nothing – NOTHING – compares to the splendor, the wonder, the TRIUMPH of Mangetti.

“What is Mangetti?” you might ask.

“Obviously,” I might reply, “it’s spaghetti for men.”

You start with a pound of sausage

Step 1: brown the sausage

and throw on a pound of beef.

Step 2: add the beef

Brown that shit up good. It’s like a heart attack in your skillet, but it smells divine.

Open and drain two cans of olives,

Open 2 cans of olives

then chop some jalapeno

chop the jalapeno

and some onions


and some mushrooms.

chop the mushrooms

Meanwhile, boil pasta,

boil water for pasta

fashion a side of garlic bread

side of garlic bread

and have a drink for yourself.

make sure to have beers on hand

Next, you’ll need to cook the veggies, so get the meat outta there. B! chose to use a colander, which is kind of gross but very necessary… 2 pounds of meat does make a lot of grease.

yes, there will be so much oil you have to DRAIN the meat.

Add the onion to the skillet, using some meat grease as lubricant,

saute the onion

Throw in two jars of sauce,

2 jars of sauce (your choice)

and the mushrooms and peppers. Return the meat to the skillet.

add the meat to the sauce


Your concoction will look like this:

simmering sauce

Season with sugar, salt, pepper, basil, oregano, etc, and simmer together while you open a bottle of wine. Go ahead and drink a glass while the sauce cooks up nice.

By now, you’ll have a nice buzz on and will be ready to EAT SOME MANGETTI

ready for dinner

while browsing the internet and text messaging on your iPhone. Because what’s dinner without multitasking? NOTHING, I’ll tell you what.


One response to “Mangetti: A Recipe”

  1. i always thought that MAYBE someday i would eat meat again, but thanks to this post it's a DEFINITE NO!and its a heart attack with a side of angioplasty. 'be ready to call 911 at any given time' should be part of the recipe.gross dude.


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