I was reclining in the van around 3pm on Mother’s Day, relaxing, enjoying the maginfied springtime sun, while everyone else was outdoors shooting. In the midst of a daydream about the new Star Trek film, I happened to look down and see a tick crawling up my pant leg. Now, I’m not a country girl in any sense of the word, and in my near-30 years on this earth I’d never before had a tick on me, but I’m also not some kind of namby-pamby wimp who can’t handle an insect here and there. I brushed away the six-legged intruder and resumed my previous pose.

As I sat, meditating, I took a moment to consider the situation: I’d only been outside for a moment, really, running a radio out to Kimmer, who was shooting in a grassy field nearby. Pusser stood beside him for the duration of the scene – about 25 minutes – while Buckethead worked the mixer out by the lake. I mean, if I had one tick on me after only minutes in the grass, the rest of them must be totally fucked.

“Hey,” I said, when the boys returned to the car, “I had a tick on me awhile ago. You might want to check yourselves.”

“Oh ha,” said the boys, who humored me with a pretend search of themselves and each other. “Silly girl,” they thought. “Silly girl and her imaginary ticks.”

The situation changed dramatically, however, when Pusser spied one on his jacket. “Oh my GOD!” he shouted, arms aloft. “A fucking TICK!” Within moments, Kimmer and Buckethead found themselves likewise infested, and the shieks were enough to wake the dead. We piled into the van, and made haste to our next location (to which we were already an hour late): filming the Lakota Thunder drummers at Cankdeska Cikana Community College. En route, I witnessed my esteemed colleagues in all manner of undress as they manically checked and re-checked for ticks. For better or for worse, I didn’t think to pull out the flip until the hysteria had abated slightly… but herein the horror is still palpabale.

Witness:

And you know, I’d love to continue the illusion that they were blowing everything out of proportion… but Pusser was pulling ticks out of his abdomen all night long, and Sir Kimmer O just found another one on his jacket not even an hour ago. So really, ticks truly are insidious and vile creatures. Next time I find one on my pants, I may not be so calm.