It’s my birthday kind of soon, and, although my list is usually of the “oh, gee, whatever, I’m easy” variety, this year I have some very specific requests. So I figured I’d give everyone a heads-up and some lead time, because some of this shit is kind of expensive.

First off, I’ve gone far too long without a video camera. Riding through the hills of Jamaica not long ago, I was kicking myself for not having opened up another credit card and taken matters into my own hands, but, c’est la vie, what can you do. The model linked above, Sony’s Z7U, would function not only as a boon to my personal arsenal of narcissism but could also be rented out to my employer in the event that we need a second camera on one of our shoots. So not only would you be saving me seven grand (plus or minus a couple hundred), you’d also be making me money.

You might also say, “hey, know what? this blog is lame. That Flip thing didn’t pan out nearly as well as she’d promised, and there’s never any of those fun picture posts anymore.” Know what would solve that problem? A brand-new STILL camera!!! Forget about how I’ve got no idea how to use one of these fancy-pants SLR doohickies – if you spend enough money, you’re bound to get good results. Right? RIGHT. (note: B&H has a special going with the D40 and D60 models. Don’t say I never did you any favors).

Moving right along, I’ve got this new haircut. But my straightener blows. Why not buy me a new and improved model? This is the one they use at my salon – please note, it’s the 1″, not the 2″, and the black, not the pink. Acquiring this new hair tool would not only enhance my external appearance (which, obviously, would be of use to humanity as a whole), it would also vastly improve my quality of life (which, by extension, would improve the state of the world. The universe, even.) And, to show that I’m not completely without regard for you, the gifter: by all means, keep the free samples.

So there’s three great ideas on how to make my birthday awesome. Should they be somewhat above your price range (CHEAP – cough, cough – CHEAP), it’s no secret that I enjoy a nice bottle of wine here and there. White, please – it is summer after all – but sparkling is also more than acceptable.

July 12, people, mark your calendars!

EDITED TO ADD:

omg, HOW COULD I FORGET. Hi. New iphone. I’m sick of being the odd man out, and I can only take its July 11th release date as a sign from God that I’m meant to have one. And by “God”, of course, I mean “Steve Jobs”. TIA, lolz!!!!