Ladies, if you happen to wake up at 6am in the middle of June, and spend the following two hours blowing allergy-snot, it’s probably not a good idea to try and use all that extra “being awake” time to straighten your hair. Because it’s fucking June and it’s fucking humid and you only got like three hours of sleep anyway and you’re out of tissues and by the time you finish with the goddamn flat iron you will probably be ready to just flipping kill someone.

Free and unsolicited advice, from me to you.