Because we all know there’s nothing worse than NOT keeping it up.
I was awake last night until 4am, despite a pep talk with my insomnia about how I’d let her hang out as late as she wanted because I could sleep until 10:30. I thought the subtle reverse psychology might compel her to allow a much-needed 8 hours of rest, but apparently she’s a TOTAL BITCH who DOESN’T HAVE AN OUNCE OF COMPASSION IN HER COLD BLACK SOUL.
The only thing that made me feel better about my shitty sleep and ensuing morning anti-brain was the fact that our entire crew woke up this morning with hangovers. (Actually, our soundman seemed OK, which I attribute this to his stalwart nature and freakishly extreme water consumption. Also actually,”our crew” is actually JUST our cameraman and soundman, but I prefer power in imaginary numbers. But my boss almost cut his ear off while shaving, so I’ve at least got a 3/4 majority in terms of being completely out-of-it.) I drifted through the entire morning in a pleasantly hallucinatory state of arrest, and spent our 3-hour drive to Fargo drifting in and out of a not-horrible unawake state.
Mind you, this is not to say that I actually slept in the car. It would be more accurate to say that I arranged my body in a series of mildly comfortable positions, closed my eyes, and didn’t move until I started having muscle spasms. I was riding in the middle seat in the back of a minivan, with two other adults and a camera the size of a small child, so you go ahead and figure out just how restful that could possibly be.
I am seriously so fucking exhausted, but I think that I’ve forgotten how to fall asleep. It’s pretty awesome. Plus, I’m not-sleeping in Fargo, ND, which makes me a little more excited about everything. It’s a nice change from all the not-sleeping I was doing in Boston, and, not to jinx myself, but at least I haven’t seen any sunrises. Yet.