Tried to go to the gym. Swear to God.

It was not a good morning. More or less overwhelmed with my mental list of menial tasks to accomplish, I lay in bed pondering my next move. I wanted to go to the gym. I didn’t want to shower. I hated my gym shoes. I had a wedding at 6. I needed a push, a spark, something to thrill me on my way, because seriously we just got these flannel sheets and they are like WOAH comfortable.

I bargained myself into rising for the sole purpose of buying new sneakers. My old ones are fine, I suppose, but they’re just a touch too big for me and I can’t run in them. So really, they suck. “I deserve it,” I thought, “it will be what gets me back in the groove.” $39.99 later, I was on my way to Planet Fitness, ready to keep up the other half of the bargain.

Except at Planet Fitness, the 17-year-old girl behind the counter informed me that I had an eighty dollar balance. Apparently I’d gotten a new debit card and neglected to let them know. I was all ready to pay it until I stopped and thought about it for a second. Planet Fitness is ten bucks a month. I hadn’t been gone that long.

“Can I see that itemized?” I asked, in an uncharacteristic display of gumption.

The bastards had been charging me every time a charge didn’t go through, effectively doubling my monthly payment. Plus, they charged me a membership renewal fee – just before they closed my account. Sweet!

“I’m not paying that,” I told the girl. “That’s insane.”

I’m all about losing this extra jiggle, but $120 in one day is a little much. Wouldn’t you agree?



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