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charming neurosis personal hell work

To make matters worse, my shrink forgot to fill my Abilify scrip.

I had a dream last night that I was engaging in my old favorite activity: breaking shit. Then I woke up to find an email from Pusser, not saying much of anything really, but about a half hour later I really started to feel like crap. My mind went in all different which ways, with a this-sucks-but-that-sucks-more kind of trajectory, inevitably ending up at the conclusion that I myself suck most of all and should probably just crawl in a hole somewhere until this all blows over. The email was a trigger, I realized, about halfway through my commute, and so I decided to make a flow chart of my mind. Here’s what it looks like.

Scan10001

Fun, huh? Send me nice thoughts to replace all these shitty ones. Please.

5 replies on “To make matters worse, my shrink forgot to fill my Abilify scrip.”

Erin, hang in there. You are not an asshole. I have had many days like this lately. It is hard to escape your past and your negative thinking sometimes. Just be aware of what triggers you and take a deap breath. And know that you are a good person. Unfortunatley there are many assholes and shitty things that we have to deal with in life. Onward and Upward.

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We’ve never met but I’ve been reading your blog for a while and I think you’re awesome. Take charge and leave self-doubt in the dust. It’s not worth your energy.

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Pusser has nothing but good things to say about you. I think he feels guilty that he wasn’t a better friend. I think he feels guilty that he couldn’t have done more to help you.

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