To make matters worse, my shrink forgot to fill my Abilify scrip.

I had a dream last night that I was engaging in my old favorite activity: breaking shit. Then I woke up to find an email from Pusser, not saying much of anything really, but about a half hour later I really started to feel like crap. My mind went in all different which ways, with a this-sucks-but-that-sucks-more kind of trajectory, inevitably ending up at the conclusion that I myself suck most of all and should probably just crawl in a hole somewhere until this all blows over. The email was a trigger, I realized, about halfway through my commute, and so I decided to make a flow chart of my mind. Here’s what it looks like.

Scan10001

Fun, huh? Send me nice thoughts to replace all these shitty ones. Please.

5 Comments

  1. Erin, hang in there. You are not an asshole. I have had many days like this lately. It is hard to escape your past and your negative thinking sometimes. Just be aware of what triggers you and take a deap breath. And know that you are a good person. Unfortunatley there are many assholes and shitty things that we have to deal with in life. Onward and Upward.

    Like

  2. It’s Friday, the weekend awaits, and the weather today was lovely. So there are good things out there too. And you’re making progress on moving.

    Like

  3. Wow. Impressive organization for a state of frustration. I dont know who this Pusser is, but I can kick his ass for you.

    Like

  4. We’ve never met but I’ve been reading your blog for a while and I think you’re awesome. Take charge and leave self-doubt in the dust. It’s not worth your energy.

    Like

  5. Pusser has nothing but good things to say about you. I think he feels guilty that he wasn’t a better friend. I think he feels guilty that he couldn’t have done more to help you.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s