I don’t really mind the heat, as long as I have nothing to do and I’m not trying to sleep. Just sitting around in record high weather? Not so bad! I did a lot of sitting around this afternoon in my sister’s third-floor Dorchester walk-up, providing moral support as she and my mother packed up the apartment. It was hot. I was sweating. And by the time we left, things had cooled down enough so that I could sit outside and edit my latest wedding video. Sounds nice, right? Cooling off after a long day, the sunset warming your face while the breeze fans your brow, vodka and grapefruit at your fingertips. I settled in, opened up my laptop, and then it started raining worms. No, I’m not kidding. Little tiny worms started falling all over me, and unfurling themselves on my legs.

Maybe it’s time to move, I thought. So I went over to the patio table, which was covered in pollen, and I’m allergic, but I cleaned it off anyway. Things were OK until after dinner, when my eyes started itching like hell. But it’s still nice out! I thought. I could still work outside. Enjoy the rest of my beer while I teach myself to edit audio. Then I started sneezing, and had to back in and get a tissue.

Many nose blows later, I returned to the Adirondack chair with my computer and my FCP book. And there was a centipede on my chest. Then a beetle landed on me. Then, as a final insult, I looked down and saw my feet were powdered with yellow. Like, FROM WALKING IN THE LAWN.

I’m still sitting out here with a warm Harpoon Summer, external hard drive attached and FCP primer open. But my eyes are swollen shut and I can’t really see. So I’ll probably look great for work tomorrow.

Oh, and did I mention that my morning started out with having to shovel a half-dead chipmunk off the driveway? Because it did.