Since I started “not working” I have:

– stayed in bed
– lolled sadly on the futon
– watched the entire first season of “House”
– watched the entire second season of “Heroes”
– created extensive mental lists of things I could be doing instead of lolling on the futon, watching DVDs, and eating dry cereal by hand
– got bombed
– was hungover
– watched “Anne of Green Gables”
– spent three hours making this fucked-up japanese curry that wound up tasting like ginger-tinged bullwhip
– marinated some pork

Meanwhile, I have a box of shoes in my backseat that I’ve been meaning to return to endless.com for OVER A YEAR. And, apparently, I forgot to mail both my car insurance and car payment last month. And every night I go to sleep promising that tomorrow I’ll finally send my grandma those pictures of the loveseat I brought home in July. I think I have post office aversion syndrome.

UPDATE:

Apparently, endless.com is serious about not accepting returns more than 365 days from the date of sale. Anybody out there a size seven?