But seriously? THERE’S NOTHING THAT EXCITING GOING ON. Or maybe there’s TOO much excitement, what about that? It’s all so thrilling, this fabulous life of mine, that there’s too much to recount in this humble medium of the blog. Am I being sarcastic? Am I mocking my own existence? You wouldn’t know anymore, would you, it’s been so long since I put up anything new.

I could tell you about our ill-fated yet fantastic trip to scenic Bridgeport, CT for the Gathering of the Vibes, or I could regale you with my astonishing prowess on the newly-purchased Guitar Hero… or what about “The Trip To LA That Wasn’t”? I could expound upon the ULTRA MASSIVE triple birthday threat of July 22, which resulted in the world’s largest sake-puke (alas, i was not the one to do the puking) and once again proved that just because you’re older doesn’t mean you’re getting old, or then there’s my litany of vaunted accomplishments, which now runs the gamut from cataloguing our library of 1,468 promo tapes to penning a film grant that will, hopefully, be worthy enough to fund my former employer’s next documentary.

But I’m totally not going into any of that yet.

Right now, I’m completely fucking beat. Last night I was house-slash-cat-sitting for a coworker and, instead of going to bed at a reasonable hour, I stayed up, drank vodka, and read I Feel Bad About My Neck cover to cover. I awoke at 6AM to the sound of her pets yowling about god knows what, with sun beaming in from a skylight RIGHT ABOVE HER BED. Two hours of tossing and turning yielded little comfort, and at 8:30 I headed to work with a massive hangover that even a 4-shot espresso couldn’t dispel.

So yeah, if I had to sum up the summer in just one anecdote, that would probably be it. There’s been a LOT of drinking going on, and when I say “a lot,” what I really mean is “it’s a miracle I still have a functioning liver.”

But guitar hero? IT IS SO THE BEST THING EVER.