Hi, excitement, because this weekend I did not have to attend any funerals. I did not have to drive anywhere for the purpose of attending any funerals. And I did not have to spend my hard-earned money on attire for any funerals. Instead, I lounged around, got drunk, and got a Cuisinart mini-prep from Shanna.

And today is my first day at my new job – the job that is awesome at the company I’ve dreamed of working for since I was 23. As an added bonus, they provide life insurance equal to one year of my salary, so if I happen to die while working here my dad won’t have to shell out as much out-of-pocket for my internment as he did for his mother’s. (When I graduated college, my dad did suggested that I purchase some term coverage because, as he put it, “funerals aren’t cheap”.)

Happy Monday, and also holy shit, it’s almost Christmas. WTF.