I have this intern from France, and I love him. He’s easygoing but sarcastic, with a hint of bitterness, and this terribly dry sense of humor that makes my Mondays almost tolerable. Maybe it’s a French thing, I don’t know. One day he was bored, so he and another intern set about making paper dolls which I taped to my window, and now all our clients think i’m a mom. (Life’s little deceptions make everything that much sweeter.)
So just now the French intern asked if he could go grab lunch at McDonald’s. I told him no, you can’t go to McDonald’s, but you can go to Subway. And he was like, oh yeah, I’ll get a tuna sandwich. We’ve had discussions before about QC on the Subway tuna sandwich, and I maintain I’d rather eat a live lab rat than touch Subway tuna with a ten foot pole. I mean, ok, number one, the tuna probably comes out of those giant ten pound cans (I don’t trust anything that comes in a big jar), but number two, I make the best most kickass tuna salad ever.
“What do you put in your tuna salad?” he asked.
It was a loaded question – tuna salad, after all, can mean so many different things.
“Well, it depends. Usually celery, balsamic vinegar, sometimes some dijon mustard, or pickles… capers if I feel good about it…”
“What about corn?”
And that, my friends, is the hardest I’ve laughed all day.
corn? WHO THE FUCK PUTS MOTHERFUCKING CORN IN THEIR TUNA SALAD? Don’t tell me that’s a French thing – although it’s definitely brilliant.