When we last saw Erinire and friends, they may or may not have been passed out in Crystal City, vodka-soaked and attempting to digest their own weight in pizza. Regardless of their state, Megan had graduation festivities, which promised enough free booze to chase the hangover away.

First on the list was an honors convocation (she’s all smart like that).

perusing the programs

and then a baccalureate mass at the Basilica.

God said: stop fucking taking pictures of the church.

The university went out of its way to emphasize that the basilica was NOT PART OF THE SCHOOL, not at ALL, but dude, they’ve got the sign hanging right there, so I don’t really know what kind of shit they’re trying to pull.

I know that there’s a lot of us lapsed Catholics out there, but even the staunchest heathen would be hard-pressed not to get a LITTLE spiritual in this place.

inside the basilica

it is HUGE. just HUGE. Like, knock-your-socks-off, flaming-jesus-mosaic, make-a-believer-outta-you HUGE. The picture doesn’t quite translate, but trust me on this one. It’s like the Alps or something.

After the mass, we wandered out to the Quad where, SUPRISE AND ELATION, there were tables covered wtih FOOD. Upon further exploration, we found more tables with beer and wine. Check that, FREE beer and wine.

you'd never know I was three sheets to the wind.

One of these people is well down the road to Drunkville. Can you guess which? (hint: it’s the one in the denim jacket who is currently writing this post.) The jaunty, swayback stance gives it all away. And the fact that my dad is basically holding me upright.

After eating and drinking ourselves sick, we headed to happy hour at La Tasca, a Tapas bar where I amazed my mother with my propensity for sangria and extensive knowledge of spanish cuisine. then, in an unexplainable twist of depravity, we went to Capital City for yet MORE drinks and MORE food, whereupon I curled up and died.

the sisters in bad light

those were my last moments, right there.

No, seriously.

I woke up at 7:30 the next morning and felt like I’d been run over with a lawnmower then thrashed with an asbestos whip. It actually had very little to do with the drinking and more to do with how I hadn’t slept more than 4 hours in the last 4 days. Regardless, I was a huge bitch all day long, a story corroborated by both my mother and sister, and this is my public internet apology for being such a child. One of the many things I complained about that day was the HEAT, and I maintain that therein I had a valid point.

It was really fucking hot.

But Megan, elated after the receipt of her diploma, didn’t seem to mind. Apparently there were a couple pukers in the class and one person got heatstroke, but that’s what you get for staying out all night before graduation! Bad college students, Bad!!

First smile as a college graduate!!

Megan has this penchant for stealing signs from places (“for sale” signs, “open house” signs, that kind of stuff), so at some point during the ceremony her friends and I went on a mission to grab the signs that told the graduates where to sit.


It was a pretty awesome idea, and I was real psyched that I got “law”.

After that I don’t have any pictures because I was too busy whining around and being a bitch. Plus the whole car-towing thing made levity difficult, at a point. But I do have these awe-inspiring pictures of the dorm hallway at move-out time!!

T- minus 1 hour to closing of the dorms

and this is the road to the trash room:

all roads lead to the trash room

makes me glad to be done with that bullshit, I’ll tell you straight up.

obligatory diploma photo

happy graduation Megan!! I love you, I’m proud of you, and I’m sorry I was such a brat!! You can complain at my wedding, by way of retribution 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at