In some kind of masochistic turn, this morning I decided to continue my experiment with the Vaseline Healthy Body Glow. I don’t know why I even bought the stuff, to be honest – I’m content with my pasty exterior and always have been. Nevertheless, this tanning lotion craze seems to be the “hot new deal” in skincare, and I can’t resist a fad. I had tried the Jergen’s when it first came out too – i used the formula for pasty Irish redheads and it worked pretty well after a week or so, but the smell made me feel queasy. Or maybe it was the concurrent days of being hungover. Whatever.

So in CVS Tuesday night, when I was wasting time and confronted with no less than 10 Jergens-esque products, I decided to take the plunge once more. My mom used to use Vaseline products when I was little, so there’s some sort of twisted emotional connection wtih me and the smell of Intensive Care Advanced Healing, plus it was on sale, and who can resist a sale. Sadly, although the vaseline had a pretty good scent in the bottle, on the skin it still smells like… a tanning lotion.

Then there was yesterday’s documented boob-streak. In addition, on later examination I found an ankle-streak and an upper thigh-streak. Bearing this in mind, you might wonder why I decided to go for round two this morning. The explanation is simple: I’m a Total Idiot. Halfway into the day, though, I have to admit that I’m liking the lightly bronzed look of my arms! Nobody has commented yet, but I can see the difference. And seriously, I don’t think my legs have ever been this tan ever.

Ever.

It might even be overkill. I’m looking around, and the coverage seems good…

and then…

and then…

Just when I thought I was out of the woods, there’s this horrible “tan” line on my left forearm.

Shit.

In other news, I think I may finally have settled on a reception venue. Don’t hold your breath.