Don’t you hate when people stand too close to you in line? Like, you’re waiting to order your cappuccino and it’s like the asscrack of dawn and you woke up in a pissy mood anyway and mister ugly-brown-blazer-man hunges in RIGHT BEHIND YOU like it’s going to get him to the front faster? Doesn’t that make you just want to fling your arms in circles and scream “PERSONAL SPACE! PERSONAL SPACE! YOU’RE INVADING MY PERSONAL SPACE!”?

No?

Then you’re no friend of mine.

Sometimes the coffeeshop is seriously just more than I can bear. Today, in addition to ugly brown blazer guy, there was also the “Old Dude who Thinks that Just Because he Remembers the Great Depression he Has the Right to cut Everyone in Line to Get More Decaf” and the “Middle Aged Lady that Finally Gets to the Counter After Waiting in Line fo 10 Minutes and Still Doesn’t Know What She Wants” and also a freak of nature who actually placed his order while wearing headphones **AND** talking on his cellphone. I have never seen that before in my life, and I hope never to see it again. It was a testament to my patience and goodwill that I didn’t spit on him and then light him on fire.

So anyway, that’s my morning.