I am working on budgets again.

I freakin’ hate working on budgets.

Mostly because they are always screwed up.

Mostly because other people screwed them up, but sometimes because I screwed them up.

And I don’t like screwing up.

And I don’t like budgets.

See how that logic works?

it’s never even round numbers, either.

Something in my spreadsheet is $7082.62 worth of WRONG, and I can’t for the life of me figure out what it is.

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EDIT: an anecdote

half an hour after this initial post was written, I broke down and made myself a bloody mary. (technically, it’s not drinking alone – there’s other people in the house and they could well be drinking. I’m sure not gonna say.) So I’m running into my usual circle of doom where I start randomly subtracting totals on one end of the budget from totals on the other end of the budget and comparing them to my general ledger, which inevitably yeilds more strange numbers, such as $11,466 or $54823.27. I’m waiting for the magic of arithmetic to take hold of my brain and guide me to higher ground, waiting for the patterns to start to flow like a stream of honey and wine. Just as I’m awash in the light, soaring, about to break through to the other side, I take the last sip of my drink and –

OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT CHEWINESS.

My boss put capers in the mix. FUCKING CAPERS.

totally ruined my groove.