So I walk into the post office the other day, and the guy behind the counter makes a smoking motion. “You just had one?” He asks.

“Um, yeah,” I reply, a bit offput. I mean, seriously, I kind of just want to mail my package.

“You gotta get off of those, start going to the gym!”

“I do, actually,” (I do, really!) “Every morning,” (almost!)

He looks at me, perplexed. “You smoke cigarettes, AND you go to the gym?”

“Yup. Actually – you’ll think I’m bizarre – right after I leave the gym, I’m totally CRAVING a cigarette.”

This makes him laugh, so I continue.

“… and then I go to McDonald’s”

He’s doubled over, absolutely. I love telling stories to strangers.

“No, seriously though, I don’t go to McDonald’s,”

“Yes you do.”

“No, I don’t! I could, though, I mean, it’s right next door to my gym.”

And now we’re both laughing.

End scene.