I’m terrible at making choices. Generally, I prefer to let life happen at me, pulling me along with the tide. This approach has worked, to a greater or lesser extent, for most of my life, if you don’t count the divorce and the mental breakdown. I had a series of great, well-paying, incredibly rewarding jobs, spent a long time in a relationship with the nicest man you could ever hope to meet, and right now I’m in a very good place, despite all the recent change. But see, none of this was my doing. The jobs just HAPPENED. The relationship just HAPPENED. And that’s how it went.

After a year on the dole, I now have not one but TWO part time job offers. They are very different scenarios: one is 2nd shift, pays a little less than I make in unemployment, and is the kind of work you can leave at the office. It’s not really in film production, but it IS at my favorite company in the whole wide world. The other is a real live production gig and is days, three days to be exact. It also pays less than I make in unemployment, but is the kind of job you can really sink your teeth into. And it may involve travel to China. Maybe. Who knows.

The first job would be stable and long-lasting. The second job would be a contract gig ’till fall, and it would be up to me to make myself so indispensable that they have no choice but to hire me full time. Both would give me room to work on my own projects. Neither would infringe on my summer travel plans. Both are incredibly appealing in their own way, and I know that no matter what decision I make, I’ll love and regret it in turns.

And I have to decide which job I take by tomorrow.

Eep.