things that creep me out

i’ve been thinking lately that there are a lot of things that creep me out that other people probably think are normal.

– people who use terms of endearment across the board. Ie: “hello, sweetie!” (to boyfriend) “hi there, sweetie!” (to boss) “what’s up, sweetie?” (to guy making sandwiches in cafeteria) It seems so disingenuous.

– children.

– moths. This stems from a long-ago incident at Girl Scout Camp when I awoke to find ten or fifteen moths having a moth party of doom inside my mosquito net. OK, maybe it was only one moth. But it was definitely inside the net.

– dogs.

– morning people.

– milk of any sort. I’ll occasionally buy soymilk to try and fool myself, but I inevitably have like one glass and leave the rest rotting in the fridge for months. The fact that I adore plain yogurt makes my milk aversion all the more bizarre.

– San Fransisco.

– related to the above, people who are cheerful all the time. A good dose of cynicism and bitchiness goes a long way, I say.

– Iambic pentameter.

– fauxhawks or whatever. Also, the hipster mustache.

– seaweed. OMFG I HATE SEAWEED. Except for when it’s dried and wrapped around a maki roll. Or cut up in salad. Basically, I guess, I hate seaweed when I’m in the ocean and it brushes slimily against my leg or thrown at my head by someone who just DOES NOT UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING WRONG THAT IS.

ugh, seaweed and moths. What a bad idea this was.

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