this is just a copy and paste of me on the knot. I’m too exhausted from keeping my eyes open all day to be creative twice. I may even have already told this story on the blog, but fuck y’all, I don’t even care.

hummm, well, I get hung over a lot, and I’m generally a puker-hangover type of girl. I was late to Easter mass with my family once because I was puking up the previous night’s vodka shots, and another time I had to leave a Buddhist ceremony after vomiting up 4 cosmopolitans behind a dumpster outside the temple.

But the FIRST time I got drunk was probably the worst story.

So I was visiting my friend at UMass during my senior year of high school. I’d never been drunk before, so I was eager to get it in gear. We started out with tequila shots – three apiece, if memory serves, then shared a cider jack and went for a stroll at Hempfest. I must have been pretty messed up, I guess, but I don’t really recall feeling woozy. We got back, ate some dinner, and I distinctly remember drinking a 48-ounce diet coke.

by that time, it was getting dark out, and the time had come to kick things into high gear. My friends had tickets to see Stone Temple Pilots, so we decided to get really hammered before the show.

Awseome. Idea.

More tequila shots, more cider jacks, and bong hits of some insane weed via a friend of a friend. By the time we left for the concert, I couldn’t even see straight.

So we’re stumbling to the venue, my friend gets his weed taken at the door, and I’m having a hard time standing upright. We get to our seats, and all of a sudden, everyone leaves to grab sodas, except for this one kid I don’t know.

Then, I start to feel it. I put my head between my legs and tried to do deep breathing to calm down, but clearly, when you’ve got appx. 75 ounces of soda and liquor in your gut, nature’s bound to take its course.

I threw up ALL over myself, ALL over the floor, ALL over the people in front of me. I couldn’t even stand up because there was puke literally covering my face. Someone handed me a napkin, which was the equivalent of giving someone an umbrella in a snowstorm. I cleaned up as best I could and ran to the ladies room, where I stayed for about an hour dry-heaving into the sink.

My friend, apparently, got back with the sodas and just found this PILE of vomit where I used to be sitting. I have no idea how he found me, but somehow he wound up at my bathroom where some girl informed him that there was this little redheaded chick puking in the sink. My friend practically carried me back to his dorm, where I cried myself to sleep thinking that my mom would be so mad when she saw my clothes.

I guess I didn’t realize that college had laundry machines 🙂