I’m sitting here at my desk googling “malformed sternum” or some crap like that when in walks Jenny.

I don’t think I have ever been more unprepared for anything in my entire life* – I didn’t know whether to hug or shake hands or offer her a sip of my coffee. It was weird. But thankfully, I didn’t offer her the coffee. Sometimes, I do keep my head about me.

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*actually, and not to cop the whole “asterisk footnote” thing, but a funny aside (or not so funny at the time but strange): when I was a young thing I had this torrid affair with an older man who eventually left me for someone more age-appropriate. Since i was a crazy teenager, I spent a tortured three years being obsessed with this guy, who moved to Texas or something and basically dropped off the face of the earth.

One day I was at BU attending a vocal clinic (in addition to involving myself with inelegible men, before I reached the age of consent I also sang opera,) and right before I was slated to perform my aria I looked up and there was the guy – the older guy. You want to talk about your heart just stopping in your throat, man, that was it. I was staring at him, and he was staring at me, and my freakin’ DAD, who HATED this guy with a passion, was sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME, and I did what anyone would, in that situation: I looked right back down again and continued reading “The Sun Also Rises”.

When I looked up he was gone, never to be heard from again.

True story!