At this point, I’ve been dress shopping a couple of times. Say four, all told. I’ve tried on probably, oh, somewhere in the realm of 15 – 20 dresses. A few have made me laugh out loud (in a bad way), and a few have made me laugh out loud (in a good way). One almost made me faint, but it could have been the price tag.

But I’m no closer to finding “The Dress”.

Do you believe in the Myth of the Dress? I’ve been over and over this with the girls who are unfortunate enough to know me in real life, and I can hear them all sighing and wishing I would get some new material already, but I can’t stop wondering how pervasive the Myth of the Dress really is.

You know the Myth.

“when you find The Dress, you’ll Know” “when you find The Dress, you’ll Cry” “when you find The Dress, you better be wearin’ Depends, girl, cause you’ll be right ready to shit yo’self”

I don’t buy it!! Everything I’ve tried on has been gorgeous beyond gorgeous, except for that one head-to-toe lace thing that made me look like a pygmy with eczema, and I would be happy to have any of them for the big day. And I’m getting to a place now where trying on dresses is actually FUN, so much so that I’m considering continuing my search long past the point of reason. Nevertheless, my mom won’t be happy until something makes me cry. But I think I’m too pragmatic for all of that.

If any of you are married, know people who got married, heard of someone who knew someone who got married, or just have feelings on the issue, shout it out. “Stop talking about your stupid fucking wedding” is also a valid point, and that’s where I’m standing right about now.