A few weeks ago, I noticed that one of the cupholders had disappeared from my car. I didn’t think much of it, aside from wondering how on earth a cupholder just goes missing like that.

Three days ago I was en route to meet up with my old boss for some clean-up work on the project. It was 6:30pm and I was exhausted. Not just exhausted, but EX-HAUS-TED, you know like “I can’t move my legs or breathe anymore” exhausted. So I did the only logical thing a girl can do in such a situation – I stopped at Peet’s for an extra-shot Freddo. Not wanting to seem rude, I picked up an iced coffee for the boss as well, wedging it into the hole where my erstwhile cupholder once sat. Then I swung into Whole Foods for edamame and soda water. As I pulled into the parking lot, the coffee tipped over, upside down, spilling half-and-half and whipped cream all over my floormats. Being immobile with fatigue as I was, of course I didn’t lift a finger to clean it up.

It’s been hot this week. And I have to leave my windows rolled up all the time.

I went out last night with sabominator and Androxx for dancing and drinking and… um, drinking… and didn’t get to bed until sometime around 3.

This morning I got into my car and the lack of sleep combined with the smell of stale, rancid coffee nearly did me in. You have no idea. Please send help.