Stockpiling

Does anybody else do this?

I go into my local Whole Foods, ostensibly to buy a bottle of water or some tea. I wander around, scavenge for free cheese samples, pick up a few extra things; some salsa, some chips, and head for the register. Only, as I near the front of the store, a distinct feeling of unease sets in. There is something missing – something more that I want!! I turn down the cereal aisle, getting warmer…

… warmer …

and hot!! HOT OATMEAL!! So many kinds!!! Plain, rolled, maple, cinnamon, “Fruit Variety Pack with that Weird Banana Flavor Nobody Ever Wants”, maple AND cinnamon together! In packets, in boxes, in cylindrical cardboard containers! SO MUCH FREAKIN’ OATMEAL!

I spend some time looking over my options, settling, inevitably, on maple.

I leave the store feeling happy and content and safe in the world knowing that I have oatmeal if I want it.

Thing is?

I never actually want oatmeal. I have like 5 boxes of oatmeal sitting around; one at work, two at home, one at my parents house, probably one in my car. You know, JUST IN CASE. The other day I went into the liquor store cum gourmet retailer and bought wine, beer, and another box of oatmeal. This kind:

which isn’t even in packets, which makes it even less likely that it will ever be cooked and consumed. Is this some sort of bizarre nesting instinct? Am I subconsciously regressing to the days of yore, when little ErinirE would come home from school and eat fruit flavored Quaker Oats (not the banana) until she felt ready to bust open? And what is with the new, non-bagged oatmeal? I am totally out of control. Someone, please, stage an intervention.

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