Fun things that happened while I was trying to drag my way through work yesterday:

Had to pull over while driving to ride out an especially intense wave of cramps.

Spent 30 minutes in CVS pondering antacids versus acid neutralizers versus the horribly expensive Zyban. (i decided on generic Tums, which, in retrospect, was probably not the best choice)

Left a series of professional voicemails with all the verbal dexterity of a drunken preteen closing a drug deal. (um, this is erinire, I’m calling to, um, follow up or, like, yeah… about the, um… you know…)

Abruptly ended an otherwise pleasant conversation with a friend I haven’t seen in a year with “I feel like shit. I’m going home now.” to avoid accidentally vomiting on his shoes.

I went to sleep last night confident that I would wake up all better. Sadly, I am not.

You know that scene in Alien where the guy gets a weird look on his face and then the alien pops out of his stomach and does the cha-cha across the table?

that’s me.

the guy, not the alien.