what is “soon”?

A couple weeks ago, in the midst of an exciting roll in the hay with Excel spreadsheets, I noticed that it was 6PM and that Katsumi was online. Being that he can sometimes leave at 6:30 (but since I am so totally kick-ass in the greater scheme of things maybe the universe would smile and let him out early because seriously, he dropped me off at 9AM and enough was enough already), I sent him a message.

“when are you leaving?”

“soon!!” he replied.

I brightened up, made myself a cocktail of vodka-and-poland springs, garnished it with a martini olive, and settled in to await my chariot. I read all the standard blogs, checked out a few new ones, read some NY Times Online, and got really really bored. But it usually only takes The Boy like 30 minutes from work to work, barring traffic, so when my friend and coworker came downstairs at 7 to ask if I’d like a ride home, I politely declined. I figured “soon” meant that Katsumi should be rolling around any minute now.

But still, I was bored. So I made myself another drink and poked around in the kitchen for something to munch on. Upon returning to my desk, I found a message from Katsu timestamped 7:20 that read along the lines of “hey baby / i lvn wrk now! / mmmwah!!”

When he arrived at my office roundabouts the hour of eight, I was pissed, drunk, and crosseyed from staring at the computer. And you know, he just could NOT understand what I was so upset about.

From 6PM to 7:20PM is not “soon”, in my book. 6PM to 7:20 is “in awhile”, and 6PM to 8PM, well friends, that is just a long ass time.

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add: don’t worry, we’ve since made up. But in the future I will no longer be accepting “soon” as an answer to anything.