anger management

Katsumi and I watched “Crash” last night. It was a pretty good movie, and if I had been in a pretty good mood, I would probably give it a solid 95%. However, I was not in a pretty good mood. I was in a really bad mood – the same bad mood that has been plaguing me all week long.


I was especially moved by the scene where Sandra Bullock was ranting on the phone to her friend about how she’s angry about everything – about the grass and the car and the housekeeper and the dog and the air and the water – and I was like “woah, I totally identify with that”. Then she fell down the stairs. Such the allegory.


so yeah, I’m on edge about five thousand little things right now and I know this happens to me occasionally but I haven’t the faintest idea what to do about it. If i were an exercising type, I could go for a punishing gym session, but I hate exercise and I let my membership lapse six months ago. If I were more centered, maybe yoga would do it, but I just get more pissed at myself for not being good at the postures. If I were more unhinged, maybe I could just flip out and break some crap or go on a roaring bender and wake up in the sewer somwhere, purged of my rage.

Sadly for me (and everyone else) I am none of these things, so I just snap like a rabid dog at anyone who tries to get too close.


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