So i went to the dermatologist this morning. I was greeted by a tall smiling man who made jokes about my last name, and while I am certainly used to that sort of thing, it was 9 in the morning and i had no coffee and no change for a Diet Coke. So I stabbed him in the arm with a tampon.

After he recovered a bit, he escorted me into the room and asked why I was seeing the doctor. I grinned affably, fluttered my lashes, and replied,

“my nails are weird and my hair is falling out”

which, combined with my previous attack, took him slightly aback. Then the derm came in and looked at my nails and was like:

“yeah. that’s weird.”

now I have a topical steroid cream that I am supposed to massage into my nail bed twice a day. woot.