BACON

ravenously hungry, with no means of obtaining food, when someone else in the house makes bacon. and eats it all. but the delicious bacon-y aroma remains to taunt you.

SHOES

i went out last Friday and got drunk in the afternoon (Afternoon drunk is the best) and then went shopping. I was so drunk I couldn’t find the camper store on Newbury street and had to chat up a sales clerk in American Apparel and ask him for help. What luck – Camper being DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET from AA (american apparel not the AA you were thinking of when I said “afternoon drunk”), I skipped blithely over and found the gorgeous pair of pink and yellow Wabi that I was parading around last weekend. Dunk as i was, it took me like 3 days to notice that the shoes barely fit me, like, at all. So as a test, I ordered the Green and orange pair from Zappos in a smaller size not carried in-store. They were delivered last night, they fit LIKE A DREAM and I am going to leave my boyfriend for my new sandals. We will go out to dinner and skip through the grass and get ticks and lyme disease together and then recover and move to Guam.

So now, I still have this pair of size 36 pink and yellow wabi that are questionably returnable… anybody want to buy them from me?

COFFEE

I am drinking coffee again. And I am a little wired. Sorry.

HUNGER

I am also so hungry I think I may vomit. AND THAT DAMN BACON LINGERS YET IN THE AIR.