i mean, boys can read too, but I don’t know how much this will interest them.

First, a story.

I had my well-worn Birkenstock sandals in a bag last fall when I went to LA. When my friend picked me up at the airport, it was all “hey hey hooray let’s go to the beach!” So we drive to the beach and when we stop the car I have to change into my bathing suit. I open the bag with the Birkenstocks and my friend is like:

fucking christ. what. is. that. smell.

and i was like:

fucking christ. it’s my shoes.

Needless to say, though I love the warmer weather, I have been less than thrilled to break these puppies out of the winterware hibernation. Because seriously? THEY STINK. They stink like a wet dog with gastric distress. They stink like rotting gym shorts in a swamp of tomato soup. They stink… like old Birks!!

MY PROBLEM
It is clear that i need new sandals. Problem is, for months my sneakers have also been falling apart, and I need sneakers too. The other problem is that until my tax return comes in I am real broke. Ramen noodle broke. (and beer and top shelf vodka but really, a girl has to have priorities) So in which shoe should I invest?

THESE?

THESE?

THESE?

seriously, it is driving me insane. I JUST WANT SHOES THAT DON’T POISON MY FRIENDS WITH A NOXIOUS ODOR!!! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK???