OK, so i declared myself too depressed to post but now I am just too bored to not post. For some reason I declared today a “non-work” workday (not decisively, mind you, more like an unofficial non-work workday) and thus the fruits of my much-needed labor involved going to the Bank, the Chinese Takeout Joint, and Forgetting to Buy the Boss his Cigarettes.

But even though I am

~~SO~~ ~~BORED~~

still can’t bring myself to stand up and do anything.

For example: when I am bored, I like to eat. (Not food-food, but things like pepperoncinis and oyster crackers and carrots dipped in mustard.) So maybe half an hour ago, I got up and made some cucumbers in vinegar, which I left in the fridge to chill. Have I retrieved them? Have I indeed temporarily quelled my boredom with the delicious summer delight that IS “Cucumbers in Vinegar”? NO!! DON’T BE RIDICULOUS!! I am WAY TOO BORED to actually GET UP and fetch my snack on my own!

Boredom begets boredom, my friends, that is today’s lesson. Let’s just hope that in 45 minutes I can muster the energy to scrape my ass off this seat and drag myself home.