Category: confession

  • Why I left my shrink: the long and the short.

    THE LONG Recently, I’d begun seeing a shrink to help sort out all the exciting and wonderful feelings I’ve had lately. You know, despair, hopelessness, general lack of self-worth, all the really fun ones. With all this talking about feelings, it was inevitable that, at some point, we’d start talking about the very strong feelings […]

  • Day one, night one.

    temperature: minus ten degrees outside, but I’ve got my thermostat up to a balmy 73. I think what sucks about being on the road is going back to your hotel room. You have a nice, spirited dinner, chug down 44 ounces of beer, smoke a cigarette with your boss, and then…. QUIET. and SOLITUDE. Like […]

  • Hi, Nielsen.

    Did you see that one MA resident who, while channel-surfing through election coverage, became so bored by Hillary’s speech that she slid on over to Heir 2 tha Streets and stayed there for half an hour? Yeah. That was me. And I’m not ashamed to say so. Then Jake pissed on my “PRECIOUS BOOKS” bookshelf, […]

  • Awesome: Not Awesome

    You know what’s awesome about working part-time? NOT WORKING FULL-TIME, of course!!! You know what’s not awesome about part time? Oh, let me begin. What’s not awesome about part time is how you feel like you should really be getting a lot of shit done. Personal shit. Like buying a file cabinet, getting an oil […]

  • confession.

    I put on mascara while driving. Every day.