Let’s talk about something different.

130624

Let’s talk about my legs.

And how they are covered with disgusting, itchy eczema.

Let’s talk about the soles of my feet, and the psoriasis. How it wakes me up at night. How I’m too embarrassed to get pedicures, and how I pre-emptively apologize to anyone who might have the misfortune of removing my sandals.

So when I was in the Bin this last time I was talking to one of the girls about it, and describing how awful and gross it was to have eczema on your legs AND psoriasis on the soles of your feet. She was on the verge of asking me to show it when a nurse interrupted.

“Coconut oil!” she crowed, over the din. She repeated herself for good measure. “It works wonders,” she promised, before turning on her heel and leaving the room.

So last week, in the spirit of self-soothing, I went out and bought myself a jar.

cocoNUTS

 

It’s hot as anything in here, so it’s all melted now. But before the Wave of Unbearable Heat, it had a consistency like cool butter and melted perfectly as I rubbed it into my skin. It was freakin’ AMAZING. Pretty soon I’m reading all about it, how it’s good for all SORTS of things. Great for your skin, great for shaving, GREAT for your hair, apparently – especially if it generally hovers somewhere between “frizzy” and “wavy” even on a cold winter day (hello, check). Some people use it as face wash, if you can believe that! And wow, suddenly I’m slathering this stuff on my legs, rubbing it on my feet, dipping my fingers in the jar like holy water, and practically SPOONING it over my hair, where it then sat for 2 hours, wrapped up in a bun. Don’t worry, I washed it out.

Liquid gold?

But you know what? For all the hype? My legs are even MORE red and itchy than before, the soles of my feet are doing… a little better, which is not to say that they aren’t still completely disgusting / awful, and my hair still hasn’t dried from this morning. On the plus side, I smell like a tropical island ALLTHETIME and B! felt compelled to make Mai Tais tonight. I’d like to take some measure of credit for that.


Marriage Is A Human Construct.

120511

I considered posting this on Facebook, but quickly thought better of it. So why not post it on my blog, and THEN post it to Facebook. Amiright? Of course. So here it is:

I probably support gay marriage more than most people – certainly more than most people in North Carolina – but I have to say, I’m kind of over the “marriage as a human right” argument. Marriage is something we made up in our heads. I mean, think about it, initially marriage was just a transfer of property (daughter, dowry) between two families, usually to gain stature in the community. These days, it seems, it’s little more than a calculated risk made at a certain time in one’s life to fill expected roles and have a really awesome party. It’s not even a real thing, much less a human right. Like, I wouldn’t say that voting is a human right either. Voting is something we cooked up so we could elect a democratic government. It’s totally fake, like Columbus day. This is not to say that it doesn’t have importance or value, but, in my mind, it is not a human right.

Now, I spent a good deal of my parents’ money on my own wedding, and I produce wedding videos as a part-time job, and I was once married myself. I totally love weddings, and a happy union is life’s greatest blessing. That’s something that should be within everyone’s reach. The happy part is real. But the marriage part is completely made up.

Sorry to break it to everyone.


you think you’re so cute, don’t you, with your holiday-themed board.

071008

There’s this enormous LED screen on the side of my building. It’s square, which I don’t understand, and runs a constant, slow-moving loop of video clips from upcoming shows. Today, as I drove in to work, there was a shot of three ships bobbing gently on the ocean. I was like, “hm, are we re-airing that Columbus ‘discovery’ show again?”

It took me until right now to realize that I’m an idiot.

COMPLETELY UNRELATED: when it’s pouring like Noah and the flood during morning drive time, WZLX will, without fail, play CCR “Have You Ever Seen the Rain.” This needs to stop. I’m drawing the line in the sand.


%d bloggers like this: