We all know I’m a fan of cocktails. This is no secret. I wax poetic over cheap red wine, I adore a cold can of beer on a hot summer day, and I salivate at the sight of a Ketel One bottle. I love to drink, and I do it quite well.

Unfortunately, lately I’ve been thinking of the grand task this assigns to my liver. If I drink every day (which I do) and take antidepressants every day (which I do) and take sleeping pills every night (which I do), I fear that at some point my organs will just up and say, “Hey, guess what, no thanks. We’re on vacation.” And they probably won’t bring me back any fun toys, either.

Problem is, there’s really nothing I like to drink aside from alcohol, unless you count Diet Coke, which is probably even worse for my bodily functions. This is where you come in. I need ideas for delicious non-alcoholic beverages. I need things that are tasty enough to make me forget I’m not drinking vodka. I need light, refreshing, healthy summertime quaffs that sing like a gin and tonic but won’t weigh me down.

So start commenting people, or when my liver gives its two-week notice I’m holding you all personally responsible.