So I got home safe and sound and boy was I wrong to be worried! Everything is just so great, now that I’m back where I belong, in my normal surroundings and free to do what I please, when I please. Katsumi decorated the apartment with rose petals for my return, and even Jake seemed happy to have me back! It’s great, awesome, fantastic.

Just kidding.

My first night back, Tuesday, we got takeout and then I sat on the couch and cried for 20 minutes. I couldn’t decide what to do, or when to do what, and even though Katsu had cleaned the apartment and done most of the laundry (!!!) I was still overwhelmed by all the things that had to be completed, tasks I’d started that were only halfway to finished. After a bit, I calmed down and we did some exercises from my DBT workbook, which made me feel better.

Wednesday night was OK, we went to Michaels and spent the night painting (me) and working on a model pirate ship (Katsu). At some point we decided it was a great time for me to finally take charge of all the household finances.

So yesterday I spent 45 solid minutes wrestling with Quicken during my morning sessions at the outpatient facility (there’s a “nuts and bolts” group where we can work on whatever we please), drove home in traffic from HELL, and stopped at the new Market Basket to get supplies for dinner. Dinner was to be pork chops and applesauce, a dinner that I hate and one that required three hours of prep time.

When I start spending a lot of time cooking things I hate from scratch, you know i’m going down a bad path.

Sure enough, katsu and I wound up having a rip-roaring fight about credit cards and debt consolidation, I refused to make the pork chops (peeling 2 pounds of apples had been all that I could take), and I took my sleep meds at 6:30pm. I did manage to pull myself together and finish making dinner, but I was passed out by 8 sharp.

So yeah. Home is kind of a mixed bag. And Jake couldn’t care less that I’m here.