a thousand times better than tums

Despite my best efforts to ignore the pain, my digestive system remained in revolt on Friday (yogurt, turkey sandwich, wine, vodka) and Saturday (eggs, toast, soy meat, wine, pizza, five-course plated dinner paired with a variety of beer), and Sunday morning I decided “fuck it” and straighaway drank grapefruit juice spiked with vodka followed by some coffee in an effort to sober up.

Sunday afternoon I scraped myself off the floor and drove down to my parents’ house, since I hadn’t seen them for over a month. My mom took me shopping at Marshall’s and my dad made pasta carbonara and my sister let me borrow her hair straightener so I left looking pretty.

And as I drove back to my apartment, I noticed a distinct absence of abdominal discomfort.

If what shannoxx says about stress and stomach pain is true, it seems that the perfect balm is a Sunday at home, complete with shopping, reisling, and carbonara.

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